… At least, when it comes to people. One thing I have been told and later came to understand is that an incomplete person will not find completeness in a relationship with another incomplete person. Issues don’t go away in a relationship; in fact they are magnified tenfold. Insecurities don’t vanish with the presence of someone who accepts you exactly for who you are. It may get a temporary reprieve, but it will always be lurking in a corner of your heart, waiting to spring out with the arrival of anything perceived as a threat to the relationship.
I think the key in any relationship is not finding someone with the most possible strengths and least possible flaws. What you need is someone who complements your character and personality. Someone who provides a wonderful sense of companionship like no other. Someone whose strengths appeal to you so much so that you can overlook their flaws.
D and I don’t get to spend a lot of time together because of his commitments, but today we managed, or rather, he managed to pull off a (kinda) impromptu date. As I walked by his side out of the museum to get dinner, I thought about how much we complement each other. Through our interactions with others, d and I have come to realise certain traits we can’t stand in a person, in the context of relationships.
In the context of a relationship, I cannot stand the pretentious, showy ‘gentlemen’, the aimless, the money-minded, the selfish, the manipulative, the inconsiderate and men who hold their desires above someone else’s values and beliefs. And quite recently, I have realized I cannot stand men who attack other’s characters relentlessly. All these traits are like a repellant to me.
That’s quite a long list.
The point of this is: I have just described traits that the person I am currently with doesn’t have. And I wonder: Do we adapt ourselves to our partners? I think the person we are happy with do not have these predetermined ‘undesirable’ traits we were adamant not to accept, but being with them makes us realise traits that are equally important to us too.
In conclusion, this is my acquired definition of Complement : A combination of wistfulness materialized and learned preferences.
I’m not sure if I just made sense.